I've been really sad lately. It hurts to breath and I just have to live through this pain that makes me want to rip out my insides and throw them away in hopes the pain dulls. Not that it stops, just becomes a little easier to get out of bed. I feel alone, I feel stupid, why did I ever think that I could have friends and it be easy and fun? Stupid, I hate myself a lot. I even say that I hate myself a little more to my friends as joke and they think I'm kidding. When I'm not, and I'm worried that one day the hate will be too much and I'll be done.
I just feel like that friend gets dragged around out of pity. I don't want to feel like that, I want to be happy and feel like included.
I just want to be wanted, isn't that what anyone has ever wanted?